no more.

still nursing this damned pinch.

three weeks since. i think.

and jakarta did not help.


















everyone at traders can just go fuck themselves.

goodbye.




i am literally stunned at de coincidence.
de much reference it has with de present; archived entries from november 2006.


27112006, 1552hrs.
our coffee is getting cold.
where do you want to go..?
my convictions have run out.
i am waiting for yours.
your smiles become faint.
tell me what is wrong.
i dont wanna sit here, watching and think all is okay.

de train is approaching.
where do you want to go..?
a funfair of joyrides or fiddlydee will do?
i dont wish to simper. anymore.
i dont wanna sit here, watching and think all is okay.

you sink into clouds.
you inflame a Camel.
you watch me watch.
you beam de world and blew your trumpet.
mystery, i wish it was.


hey mystery. [number one.]
i recumbent on my private shoal,
a shoal luxuriant of de serenity i long desire,
deeply i am pensive of de much less mediocrity i succumb to,
my breathing screws its rhythm each time de peak gets too much to handle,
my heart weakens each time de leaves begin to wither,
my body loses its strength each time de carpet bums out its will to fly,
my hands shake each time de tree of us loses its vitality.
05, 11, 13, 19, 29, numbers run and mount.
but what de hell for?
tuesday, wednesday, friday, sunday, monday, days past and age.
but what de hell for?
finish panting and let all flow.
no run, no exhausts.
no past, no desolations.
for all bloom have faded.
for all glow have faded.
for all joy have faded.
my breathing captures its rhythm each time de peak gets too good to miss,
my heart invigorates each time de leaves begin to grow,
my body gains its pow each time de carpet loads up its will to fly,
my hands steady each time de tree of us rejuvenates.
i end my recumbence on my private shoal,
a shoal luxuriant of de serenity i long desire,
deeply i am pensive of de much less mediocrity i had succumbed to.
but from up here, its all gleetzly with glitter.
hey mystery, turn up de heat and we shall have another ride.
:)
Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 19:24

: from friendster blog entry.


my gut feeling was right- these are just too familiar. got my answers now.
God, help me!!!

hah.




























today.

am waiting for de landlord to come see de house. God, zephyr is reminding me i sound like a housewife now. i got a text from mario saying that de landlord is coming at noon and to keep some of his things. i wonder why!!! i have been seeing chinese people in de house every fuckin day!!!!

okay, while waiting, show you some shit;


my daily dose- wanda and new fav fags[ the scarlet camellia -like real only de name ah? ] 4.10rmb. hard reds. am so not gonna have a voice when i come back.

these are de people who watch us doing it every night, every other time not in bed or anywhere else, that is. de distance is pretty close than in shot. and de full length glass window, is always curtain-drew.

so this is de view of de back of our tower.


and this is de front, looking down, besides de fantastic river and sky scrapers and lights.




i wanna go out today to get shoes to club in tonight. we going to bar rouge. everyone has been telling me about it. and that i have to check it out. will update you on monday[cos we'll be out and about this weekend], latest.




okay. it is 1255hrs now and de landlord is not here. i wanna shower and get out laaaa!!! gua bingit.






tuesday.

cant remember what i did on tuesday but i know de engineer came to look at de bath tub. his jacuzzi feature didnt work and peter came to fix de wireless. he took one and a half damn hour, okay. gua mengamok.

oh, went out in de evening to de supermarket to get some things for de kitchen and stuff to make pasta. penat, okayyy.

wednesday.

three other engineers came to finally fix de bath.


and i am always in this state, talking to friends via video call on msn or skype. boring. i was too lazy to get out.

met him at pudian lu, a block from his office building to have dinner.
didnt know we were going to hyatt. it was damn nice, okay... and i was dressed like a ballerina. fuck.




my old man suffers from vertigo and we managed to get a window sit- with much persuasion. it was only de 55th floor- half de building. but sky scrapers were at eye level.


yeayea...


smile, fuck! fuckin fake.

thursday.

well, when they fixed de bath on wednesday, i thought they jammed de drainage and i couldnt shower cos de bath tub was half filled with BLUE WATER. so.......... i got them to come again.
and, de drainage wasnt stuck, i found out. i pulled when i should push it down to get it lifted. how stupid. memalukan.



and PETERRRR. peter ju came and fixed de safe deposit box. fuck. i hate de guy. he spits all over de house. urgh.
thank God we dont have to call him for anything now. shit.

de person i talk to on video most is farid. and he always insist to see my gorgeous face. so yea. i cut my bangs and ironed my hair while at it last night. this was what he saw throughout de whole conversation:


mister gabbi came home and we went out for dinner. ha HAAAD to pick chinese again, you know. urgh.

it was crap.



this ass keeps on saying he's gonna go to johore and go to a gangster and say 'bessamebutoh' and then run. hhahahhaha. it's supposed to be 'besar punya butoh', by de way. i tell you, this man is crazy and i am gonna be crazy by end week.

de crap talk, de pushing, de 'fucks', de chinese speaking, de screaming and laughing in de middle of de crazy road. i will be lucky if i just turned crazy and not die in china.

and he kept on singing some robbie williams song about dying before going old. i wonder what de fuck de song is. fuckin annoying shithead who cant even say 'cockroach' right. CROACH. ROACHCOCK. whatever.

if you can see, we finally got a cockroach killer[picture below in his hand] for de house. but guess what happened in de house after.
he screamed when he saw it first thing when he switched on de bathroom light.
and this smartie had to kill it with his shoe.

he's afraid we are gonna die if we spray de killing thing in de house while we are in. what crap.
i should have just did what i told him i would- spray it in his room while he sleeps and shut de door and i go on de internet or watch a dvd in de hallway while he dies in de room.

look at my crap hair. he wants de bangs. fuck.



monday.

so, de girl i met in de toilet on saturday- her name's ECHO.
made a date with her to go get turtles for mario. he wanted it, okay, not me. cos he cant keep a cat or dog due to his work schedule; in and out of shanghai, mostly not at home. so yea. i knew he was gonna get a little pissed and jealous that I, between us, could get my ass to a bloody pet market and get bloody turtles.

look at this kepo face:



so finally, a good one.


meet wo de peng you, ECHO. hahahhahaha. sweeeeet.


so my search for de turtles, done. echo left to teach yoga and i was exploring nanjing road.
saw this tea shop andremembered that we needed a pot to brew tea and nice cups for it.
i spent a bloody hour in de shop, okay. maybe more. and de owners liked me so much, they insisted i had tea with them. but of course, still hoping i'd buy de rose tea instead of de green.
didnt work, sorry guys.


got home, got his turtles ready and fried chicken till he returned from work. da macam bini orang.


for half an hour, he talked about and to his turtles, with his coat on.

he removed it, and placed de italians, de malays and de chinese in twos periodically on de floor[in his work outfit and shoes still] and talked and talked and talked. of course, ignoring me at it.
for TWO DAMN HOURS, okay. naming inclusive.



so he was a damn happy man after a fucked shit day at work.



sunday.

we were supposed to go to the zoo but i got ready a little late and we went to TF COFFEE just a few blocks away from home. yeayea. we still needed de guidebook but he has one in italian. so, he had to do de navigation.

de soup i got was clear and i didnt know i had an animal's intestines in it till i forced him to drink it. fuck. i took ONE SIP only, okay!!!




then we took de taxi to de faked market. there was nothing that fancied me so we just went to de tailor's to check on his shirts. being italian, he got so mad about his shirts not being right. i mean, it was de third time he was there to amend de measurements. i would be too. but yea, for de half an hour after, i had to just shut my hole and enjoy his fucked up face.




got into de subway and made an attempt to get to a pet market. hahahhahha. i had a BLOW from a chinese girl- she was sitting next to me in de train so i asked where de pet market was. OMG her breath was so hot and stank like a dead rat!!!! it shocked me that instant that immediately i yelled out loud at him 'SHE STINKS!!!!' hahhahaha. and of course, de girl didnt think anything was wrong and just kept on talking. i had to just raise my hand in her face and said ' bu yong, buyong.' hahhahaha. wtf.



de fuckin fake smile. after touring in dunno-where and ending up in ikea; where I GOT FUCKIN PISSED with de cashier.


dropped off our shopping bags and walked back down de street for a fuckin chilli oil dinner. fuckin hell, our food were filled with OIL!!!


end of sunday.





















and so i am finally here.
been two days and lovin it. hahahhaha. yea, fuck. lovin it. de subzero atmosphere is de only shit i am not liking. gila babi la sial. considering i never have my air condition or fan on while i sleep. even have de window open for 5cm! and now this. urgh. i have more days to spend here. i wonder what is gonna happen. things are not as cheap here, you know. and de interesting stuff are in de back alleys. i wanna go back there. maybe tomorrow.

de bund tunnel was so crap, okay!!!













































i can smoke anywhere now- de restaurants, in de cabs, in de coffee places.


















and look- there was this toilet in dunno-where that had FUCKIN TIMERS ON DE CUBICLE DOORS. wtf?! what is gonna happen if i stay longer in there?? de alarm will go off?? hahahhaha. crap shit.




















today i have a lunch date with my tony and a date with 'Echo', this chinese girl i met in de toilet of a mall on saturday. hahahhaha. gonna meet her at people's square. i hope i can navigate my way there this time w/out mario.






















and i have to meet him at pudian lu[pudian rd]!!!! THAT, is de bigger challenge. de gantry looks like de ones in singapore. heard that de ones who helped start these here were singaporeans anyway. can go on skates also, okaaay. hahahah. i gotta find de nearest train station and be at pudian rd station by 1220hrs. dont have much time now. be right back when i am done with my mission with Echo. hahahhahahha. ECHO. laters.



still in bed.
not showered yet.
i have to go to de bank to get a new card, change some cash, get thermal pants, get bigger luggage[maybe], most importantly, MC!!!!!! fuck, i am screwed. no time leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeii.

nad and de boys are gonna see me off. meeting deena for coffee later, about 7-ish.

got time meh liddat....???

urgh. nak mandi niiiii!!!!!

bye people!!! talk to you later at de airport.



*9hours17minutes.*



as of now, i have 3 nights, 22hours and 57minutes till i get to see my tony.

and during this period in subject, minus 15hours[till he arrives] and minus 5hours[after he leaves for home in istanbul], yours truly will have a fuckinrockintime.

we have waited for this for what- 2/3 months????? thank you for de effort made to finally get a flight here. for de longest slot, too! good thing de time is perfect. TK leaves at 10ish, 11. GA leaves at 3hours later.

no, orhan honey, not a nice surprise. this came as a fuckin awesome shock!
happy? i am fuckin thrilled! this is gonna be fffunn.

after aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall these, i will zip up, leave for de agonizing-wait trip. and then see that cheeky man waiting for his camel fags at de arrival hall.

suddenly, everything made me a fuckin happy girl.

am not gonna have time to spend with deena and liyana as planned. orhan came into de picture on a last minute note. our promise was made months back. cant and wont go back on it. and my shifts haaad to be sucky.

5hours on msn and skype last night, confirming plans, had/have me fuckin shagged. after 2bloodyweeks of superlatenights/earlymornings. i need a good rest to have me all set for mister temur's hosted days/nights in SIN.

;)


i dont know if i will have time to post pictures of us from wednesday-friday. maybe not until i find internet access in PVG.

but for sure, a promise of shots from later tonight. heeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeee.

*da gatal ni!!!*







fifteen damn hours........
mister temur, you have my adrenaline rush kicked.

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